Just a heads up.
I’ve added some brief description on each of the stories that are here so far in the Story folder of my blog and some themes just to make it easier to navigate.
Also I added a new short story that I’ve written a little while back at writing.com: A melody that has to keep playing…
It has a musical theme and it’s the first time that I tried to ‘write’ some noises into it. I’m not fully enthusiastic with the outcome, but hey! since it has already been written, no harm in posting it.
I hope you’ll enjoy it.
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Well, things go well. Everything is quiet here.
At least in my mind they are, for I’m bursting with activities that draw upon almost all of my free time. I guess that by mid-October I will put a reign on those things and everything will return to it’s normal, boring, routine.
But I’ve willed myself to change. I PROMISE (to me) that I shall post a new poem or a new story chapter at least once per week. I promise that I shall not let this place die. To show my newfound determination I gave this whole place a face lift. Slowly, I learn to write, and timidly I step forward. Who knows, maybe I can manage my dream to became a writer eventually…
So:
a)No more whine (hooray!)
b)At least one update/week (I need a goal to keep me moving)
c)I shall stick to the plan of having this place as a writing repository and not as a rant receptacle.
For now, I’ve updated the story archives, and I’ve removed some of the old ones for a major re-editing of them (when I’ll find the time). What I plan on doing till the end of the week is uploading another ten or so poems of mine that I haven’t posted yet here (through some of them are posted in my portfolio of writing.com).
See ya soon!
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It seems procrastination is my calling. I wonder why when i have a ton of stuff to do piled up, I leave them as they are and start writing…
Oh well, couldn’t do something different though.
As i was sorting some things from my childhood, a small notebook fell. A tiny bluish (at sometime) notebook. I had it bought when i was seven, eight years old, can’t really remember. But I had it so that I could note down lyrics that I liked. My parents loved the idea since they thought that it would help me with my spelling (which by the way still sucks). Soon I began to alter the words here or there. Putting them in different order, giving them life… It didn’t took much for this tiny assembly of magical papers to become my very first place that I stored my poems. Childish, now that i see them, ignorant of life… yet, somehow, I couldn’t contain my tears when I read, and re-read them…
Obviously, I dedicate the poem: Reminiscence to it… and since it got me writing again, I finished my story Incineration of sanity. It felt nice to finish a story in just two days… maybe I should stick to short ones.
If you read it and wonder about the ‘somewhat’ abrupt ending, it was intentional. Life can change in the blink of an eye, in the second that it takes for one to make the decision to alter it… I don’t know how well it shows that it was intentional, but I hope…
Reminiscence
A tear stains, your worn teal color.
Blue ink is messing your scrambled lines.
Notebook of old, where were you hiding?
Your pages so thin, they’ve sliced my soul.
Were you just hiding in dusty corner?
Or in my heart you always lay?
Memories dance and sobs explode,
as I am holding you in my hand.
Meaningless rhymes and silly lyrics
How my emotions you mess?
Childish scribbles in playful tunes
How tears you bring in clouded mind?
Do you remember our first caress?
Your lover’s dance with pen and pencil?
My smile when loneliness you did dispel.
The day I bought you, I bought a friend…
A dozen years, maybe some more,
have passed since then that we had bond.
Yet fragrance fresh you still emit
of words you spat, of life you’ve birthed..
Notebook of old, now that I’ve found you,
my pillow join, there where I lay,
I’ll trust you again, my dreams to guard;
the same old dreams that you’ve inspired…
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So, I kinda-sorta-somewhat found a little free time to continue my writing. Nothing much, just a few steps to make me moving again. As in my classic stupid tradition, I didn’t continued any of my previous work that I so much wish to finish some day… but i started on new projects.
And here I go again, in a new place ( http://Writing.Com/authors/shphoenixgr), making a fresh start. The problem is (why there should always be one by the way?…) that at this particular moment, i have a chance to do something really meaningful with my life… and here I am wasting my time writing things irrelevant to my work… but this doesn’t bother me now. I figure that I like my writing better than my job anyways…
So I wrote a poem for my new beginning, a poem about life, since it IS a good subject for my baby steps…
I also started writing a small story for a contest there, the poem (Full circle) as well as the story (Incineration of sanity) can be found (as always) in the sidebar. And to continue my new test, I shall put the poem here too.
Hope you’ll enjoy them both.
Full circle
You’re slapped to life by tender hand,
to learn the meaning of pain and love.
Opposite sides, or are they really?
When things you learn, shouldn’t you dance?
For times will come where fate is cruel.
Your sorrows grasp, your bitter paths.
Embrace your tears, forget your past,
for only struggle teach how to laugh.
But when life shines, they rays of joy,
always remember to smile with your eyes.
For truly as sun, in mirrored glass,
your light reflects and spreads your laugh.
And morning come, and evening leave,
learn something new, teach something different.
The things you treasure must go to others,
and you’re expected to guard their own.
But always take notice, that this’ a journey,
a train of memories and things you’ve done.
And it’s better to be a cabin active,
than just a passenger that watch life pass.
And when they say ‘Your light is dimming’,
over your shoulder just throw a glimpse.
You’ll see it bright, to those you gave it,
to those you taught and those you smiled.
Your head turn straight and silently walk,
you’re finally here, to your journey’s last stop.
The times you’ve fallen are long now past,
Be proud you willed yourself to stand up.
But if you think you need more time,
you have forgotten one major thing.
You need to cry to learn how to laugh,
how can you live if you cannot die?
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How many times can a man be revived?
I’m hoping at least two…
No, I’m not back. But I’m settled, and I hope that from the next month I will manage to salvage some time to post things here. For now, I have not much readied. Only ideas and half-written chapters, and some poems I guess. It will take a lot of work to gather all those things and sort them out. But I’m hoping that I’ll manage. For now, you’ll have to get satisfied with a single poem:
A new perspective
Scattered crystals,
my prisms of dreams.
Engulfed starlight
and captured sun,
in their million fragments.
My torn out wings,
a paper-plane; I toss,
and in its folded hope
my secrets float,
in the currents of oblivion.
Where is a baby’s laughter?
The shadowed path,
without youthful smile,
how to illuminate?
My inner child when did I kill?
An adult’s vile grin,
his thousand white teeth,
razor sharp lies,
its mark has left on my soul.
The poison I feel creeping in.
In this bloodstained altar,
as I throw away my Pretense,
I sacrifice my Logic;
and as my ego I stab,
I hear Experience’s death throes.
Macabre ritual
to ancient gods
of dreams I chant.
I give you my Knowledge,
return me my fantasies.
My eyes are full again;
the life’s water flowing.
Tears of joy
hide the false paths.
At last… I am mad.
Scattered crystals,
my prisms of dreams,
jewels that engulf starlight,
tears that capture sun
in my mind’s million fragments.
I’m blind no more.
p.s.
I think that I like better to post my poems directly to the blog entries first, and then to the sidebar. I think that it will make it easier on you too to read them. We’ll see how this will go.
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So, finally, my mini writers block has passed. And here I stand again, rejuvenated enough to add a chapter to Crescendo. If things go as planned, I may find some time to expand The Soul wanderer too. But I see a party bandwagon accelerating in insane speeds towards me, and well, I might be tempted to jump on it. 😛
So it will all show, if by nightfall, I haven’t posted that chapter too, it means that I’m someplace getting drunk and dancing, two things that are irrevocable tied together :D.
Enjoy, and as always critic will be highly anticipated.
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Cats Vs. Dogs. The eternal question. I will refrain from taking a position, because I wouldn’t be a fair judge, my phobia of dogs, even since I was a little boy, wouldn’t allow me to answer truthfully. What I will talk about, will be the generalizations and the stereotypes of those magnificent animals.
They say that one can judge a person for his love of a specific kind of animal, but I find this to be a racist comment against the animals themselves. We cannot bring our pettiness to those simple beings. If we want to ‘blame’ someone or to ‘praise’ something indirectly, and we don’t want to state the specific HUMAN problem or trait, we always have the (ancient) gods… they were invented for this thing after all. So as to have someone to alleviate our fears and someone to blame for our faults.
Regardless, there are some stereotypes that must be followed. Like dog being the faithful servant of man, and cat being the naughty mistress of the house. Both of those are good traits imo.
For I ask you, which is better, the one that keeps struggling after every failure? Or the one that tries to not fail? Those are the dogs and the cats for me.
Stability and determination. Faithfulness and loyalty. Obedience and reward. Dogs, masters of patience…
Or cats? Spontaneity and randomness. Fierce willpower coupled with mighty independence. Ego and pride. Majesty and creativity…
Which one would be the most rewarding? The spontaneous purr of a cat? A result of pure love that comes only once in a while like a reward that is seldom given? A thing to be cherished because it was earned, and it wasn’t certain? Or the constant company of a dog. Its happy barks to keep you company even in the most dire hours? A love that once earned, will stay true and steady. A faithful compatriot to the travesty of life that will never abandon you?
For me, as I said above, comparing animals with humans is degrading. But one can always compare animals to nature. And this is easy, for animals ARE nature. The cat and dog, the opposite side of the same coin. I won’t compare them now, or here, or anytime. Those who cannot see the earth as what it is have blinded themselves. They are the same people that don’t understand why we should care about our world.
One can wonder why I rant about this today… well…
I was sitting there, enjoying a coffee in the sunshine. The weather was brilliant, the company was great, we were chatting and having fun, and you know… enjoying ourselves wasting time.
Then my eyes drifted to this one girl that was barely visible in the corner of my eye. She was standing alone, sadden eyes were decorating her face. They drifted from time to time to the scenery around her, but usually just stood still looking at nothing. The only movement was their sudden movements. Because every time one passed near her, she would jump up, eyes darting in agony around her, like a scared cat, scanning the unknown human as a new object, trying to figure out if it was a threat or a nothingness…
An image sticked in my mind. I was sitting on a couch, and I had a cat in my lap. I was just patting the cat and she purred. And my problems seemed lighter.
They say that talking to people about your problems helps, I disagree. Just letting other people know that you have problems helps, no talking is necessary…
This might sound crazy but please read the whole paragraph before judging this…
I wanted to go to that girl. It was not that she was pretty, it was not that I was attracted to her. But it seemed that there was something that troubled her, something personal most probably, like the things that you cannot discuss with strangers. I have some problems too. So I was thinking how nice it would be, if we humans could communicate like we do with our pets. Just sigh to them, and accept their judgment, be it either the blind acceptance of a dog, or the indifferent walk of a cat, that refuses to see what troubles you as serious. No talking would have to take place. Just a nod to tell them that others have problems too, they are not alone in this madness we call life. Of course, humans are complicated beings… you cannot just walk to a stranger, nod to him, and then accept his response. But why?…
After about 30min the girl left.
So i dedicated a poem to those thoughts, thoughts about the behavior of cats, thoughts about the views of the animals towards us, thoughts about lonely humans, me, her, everybody who cannot find the power to express himself… It is named after the queen of animal indifference, Feline rejection
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Unfortunatly, those last days, my novel writing is left a little behind.
Don’t blame me! Blame work, throw your accusation at real life. But above all, blame spring.
It’s a really beautiful day, and so was yesterday too. I heard my own advice, and the little free time I had, I spent it savoring this joyful season. I just… stopped doing anything for a little while, and just enjoyed… being. A simple gesture, a moment to look at the blue sky, was all it took to give me back a whole lot of the energy I had spent to various tasks.
Really, it doesn’t take much to be happy. You just have to appreciate what natures provides…
So, no novels today… I will leave you with a new poem though, Defy Mundane (that I wrote yesterday, so I guess it doesn’t count as today’s writing ^^).
Caution: It sucks, but Hey! I wrote it while I was happy and this is something new to me, since I usually write when I’m depressed. It will take me a while, I figure, to adapt…
I hope you’ll enjoy it. But, much more, I hope you too take a moment off from the pressure of everyday life and enjoy the simple things.
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The at last part, is directed at the hour…
It’s 1:30am here, and although it’s not that late, I was thinking this morning when I woke up, that it would be a perfect day for writing. I had little to do, no job, etc, so I was thinking that maybe I would have time to update both stories…
And then the errands came.
Regardless, I want to keep my word, so I delayed posting a new entry until I had a new chapter (even though I had something to post about).
So, please enjoy, a new chapter of Soulwanderer (it has been so long since I have touched this story…) and a new poem (lies again, I wrote it yesterday 😛 ), Drifting in pleasing agony (please don’t flame me for the tiny self-gloating of this piece)
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Yes again…
My favorite story, Reweaving of the Patterns, is being shelved again.
I cannot help it. Every time I just look at the seer size that I have to edit I feel tired already. I love this story, I find its plot twists some of my best. I like the slow pace of the beginning and the rapid deployment of scenes later on. BUT, I curse my young self for having written it so poorly. It needs major changes in the writing. And this tires me insurmountably. So, once again, I have to shelve it in favor of Crescendo and Soul Wanderer.
I give to you another chapter of Crescendo and the final two chapters of the first scene (that’s really just the introduction) of Reweaving of the patterns, and from tomorrow on, i shall start working only on Crescendo, Soul wanderer and maybe a random poem or two (can’t really help those when they spring onto my mind).
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Rebirth In Darkness 