A muse and a change
September 28, 2008 at 11:20 pm (stories) (chapter, contemporary, Fiction, novel, webnovel, what lies unborn)
In between a canceled rp session and some beers, I managed to find some free time. I decided to dedicate it to writing, but since I’ve already written about 1+ 1/2 chapter of what lies unborn yesterday I wanted to occupy myself with something different.
So, I started an idea that lingered in my mind for a while now. I’ve written already the first chapter, but it is a style that I’ve never tried before, lighter and more ‘traditional’, and so I will give myself some more time to edit it before I post it.
To add to this, I re-looked a bit ‘What lies Unborn‘. It seems that many readers have slowly stepped away the moment they saw the format of the first paragraph… As I writer, I cannot understand this completely. That is because I know what will happen, and I know why it is formatted this way. But I think, that I can sympathize with a first time reader that stumbles upon such random sentences that are supposed to be the beginning of a novel. And thus, I’ve added a small prologue, maybe 1-2 paragraphs of normalized text to ease the mind of the reader and prepare him for what is to follow.
I would greatly love to hear some input of what you think about those paragraphs since it is a major edit on my part (it basically changed the format of the beginning).
-Phoenix steps back to his shroud
Rebirth In Darkness 
NiSp said,
October 6, 2008 at 1:05 pm
i think i must have started reading ‘unborn’ after you changed it. i love the beginning – and hate it. i started feeling a little drunk myself, but not in the happy-tipsy kinda way. that’s the only reason i hated it. i felt dirty inside and out. but that’s kind of the point, huh? *grin*
i love the disjointed lines of his impressions and thoughts all merging together as we follow him down to the bottle store and… anyway, very well written is my view.
NiSp said,
October 6, 2008 at 1:06 pm
um… can you delete the first comment? seems to have posted twice LOL
ShroudPhoenix said,
October 6, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Thanks!
Yeah the whole point was to indicate the mood that the main character passed his life and to show just a glimpse of why and what went inside his mind.
Before the edit, there wasn’t any text before the italized sentences and some of the paragraphs directly after were missing too. I had some input telling me that when one looked at it for the first time it reminded him more of a poem than a novel, thus I added the first paragraphs to show the style that I would (usually) use for the protagonist.