Drifting in pleasing agony

A little piece about some fits that I want to believe that I’m not the only one that I go through.

And there I lay, in golden sand,
my whims, my hopes, my dreams, my goals,
I summon briefly, as I clap my hand.
But in my mind I feel, its endless holes.

Fear and doubt, I feel invades,
my sea with filth I watch them stain.
I slash and thrust, but they evade.
In my land’s sand I whimper and faint.

And I awake, in place unknown,
where storms are heavy, and hail falls.
My sanity’s shredded, to bits it’s blown,
my body’s amiss, yet I hear its calls.

I look to the skies, to thunderlit moons.
In this calming hell, my eyes I fear most.
With sirens I dance as a nightbird croons.
My shriek I unleash, to entertain my host.

I spat and I curse, the sun I see rising,
this horrific night will bring to its end.
Joy and laughter will join the uprising,
my pain and agony, who will defend?

And beaten I watch, reviving light,
dawn’s warm embrace, giving me hope.
Disgusted I see that I am alright,
with fiendish nights unscratched I did cope…

A single crumbled paper, all that remains,
from deranged battles, from this madman’s cape.
A valiant martyr who restless obtains,
insane words that are forced to escape.

And stubbornly again, in sand I lay.
A mind’s calm sea, to upset I thrive.
My dreams and hopes to visit I pray,
which are same with horrors that came alive.

For painful muses can only bloom
through insane bursts, in saddened times.
When lovers depart, in vicious gloom,
they merciless attack, and whip you with rhymes…