Blissful Catatonia

Sun rises and sun sets.
A day passes, life’s hollowed nets
through me, harmlessly pass
incapable my heart to catch.

Eyelids lazily half-open.
My mind I wonder if it’s rotten.
In catatonic existence I’ll live.
My soul in emptiness I’ll leave.

Amusement I’ll find in day’s turmoil;
anxiety my insides won’t boil.
For hopes and dreams long now I’ve killed;
my life in emptiness I’ve willed.

Love’s arrows in armor halt.
Easily I evade happiness’ mad cult.
Pain and agony now only miss;
in apathy I find bliss

And as I watch her strolling by,
my cheek I sense that isn’t dry.
Air’s moisture I know it is,
not pained tears, nor happy kiss.

Yet I know that I’ve just lied.
My throat I bless for the knot I’ve tied.
Faithfully the words, imprissoned keep,
my apathy’s valiant, last, keep.

My frantic beat to calm down I’ll force,
again to achieve the bliss I’ve lost
through a bloodstained razor in an empty bath.
Yet, in my eyes flash your perfect laugh.

Sun rises and water drips.
A smile I force to my strained lips.
And as from sleep’s hazy fog I wake,
in my mind, anxiously, brilliant thoughts I make.

My morning routine: a vicious battle.
Consciously choosing life’s chaotic shuffle.
The bliss with smiles I’ll keep away,
as long as I hear her laugh every day.