Chapter III: The rise of dawn

Joshua was racing towards his goal. He was floating some inches above the ground now and the scenery around him was changing in a pace not easily followed by the human eye. Everything was like a blur, like the mirage of a fog, buildings came and go, crossroads were been skipped.

He had only one guide now, his mind, his memories, his thoughts. Yet he longed for the air. When he first managed to master the art of moving with his mind in the blink of a thought, he was thrilled. He was free to go wherever he wanted at whatever pace. There was no up and down here, literally the sky was the limit. If only there was a sky… if only there was wind, blowing his hair in freedom… if only there was time for him to race against…

But as everything else in this damned place, his movement seemed like an illusion too. There was nothing to hold him back, sure, but there was nowhere to go forward too also. It took only few minutes to break the intoxicating feeling of freedom. Nothing moved, nothing changed, he didn’t felt tired, he didn’t felt the rush, he wasn’t running… What in the beginning it seemed to be him racing, was rapidly changing to the emotion that he was static, a statue bolted to the ground and that it was the whole world that was moving, not him… He felt disgusted.

He let only a small portion of his brain to guide him through the well known city, the other part he left to wonder at the voice. There was no time here that he could tell, never did he felt tired. The light, or more specifically the absence of light that surrounded his dark surroundings was always the same, he imagined that a sane mind would have gone crazy through this lack of evolution, through this immovable space. But a sane mind wouldn’t have ended here nevertheless, so there was no point in thinking about it…

He couldn’t tell if it took weeks or minutes for him to learn the basics that the voice in his mind was tediously trying to instill to him. But he was grateful for the way that she did taught him. A calm voice, a stern voice, a voice that didn’t seemed to be irritated, no matter how many times she had to repeat the same instructions over and over again. The same mind games, till he understood them. The million mantras to keep chanting in his mind, repeating the most vivid memories that he had, so as to survive. The mantras that subconsciously were keep repeating even now. There shouldn’t be a void moment in his thoughts, this could have been his undoing, and so he continued to think, till the end of all times, he had to think…

Yet, as important was, according to the voice, to keep remembering things from his past, he thought even more important to replay scenes of his present on his mind. One in particular he thought that he should never let go. It was the scene a little before his ‘training’ had ended.

“And now what?” His voice was faint. The process of absorbing all that information had occupied him for a little. But now this period was coming to an end. Now he was supposed to be equipped enough to go find this truth that she spoke so valiantly about. And his mind once again was drifting to reality. He knew nothing. What if he had the weapons to get this knowledge, if he didn’t even know how to use them? What if he had the will to find out, if he didn’t knew were to search? The reality was that he was a simple man, shot in the back from an unknown person, for no reason that he could imagine whatsoever. From where would he start?

Yet the answer he received was unexpected.

“What do you mean you don’t know where to start from?” there was clear bewilderment in her voice.

“You surely saw the jacket that your assailant was wearing.” She continued.

“Huh? Of course I didn’t, I didn’t had enough time to even turn my head around…”

“But it was of a familiar pattern, you used to wear one yourself not too long ago.”

“What are you talking about now? And how could you have ever known?”

“Joshua, you forget that I was always with you, not just now.” Her voice was becoming a little irritated by his constant questioning of her loyalty to him.

“You see, I forget all the time that you were a simple man then. I’m not bound to the normal human limitations on my senses, I see not in a small angle in front of me. There is not left and right, there is not back and forth. I see and sense all that is around you. This is why I was surprised that you didn’t saw the man that shot you. But he was wearing a D.A.W.N. jacket, you surely remember those.”

And remembered he did. He used to work a bit there. It was a standard work, carrying around heavy packages, loading trucks, manipulating the heavy equipment. A standard work as all those he had before, as all, this has ended too in some time in the past. He couldn’t remember if it was his fault or one of his supervisor’s stupid decisions. It was not a good job; it was not a bad job. As everything he did in life, it was a monotonous job just to survive in the world.

His train of thoughts stopped as he found himself marvel at the front entrance of the building. There was no need to switch his eyes so as to see in the mundane world. Where all the shadow buildings around it were in a state of demolition, were cracks and debris littered the surface of all the structures that he had seen in the ghost world, this one was different. Had he knew no better, he could have sworn that it almost seemed to radiate light. Of course this was not the case, in this heaven of shadow only darkness prevailed. But this place seemed like an anchor to reality. Stubbornly refusing to wield in the destruction of the scenery that encircled it.

He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. He tried to change his point of view to that of the real world, as she has taught him to. A small voice inside of him was telling him to be cautious. It was a remnant of his logic that was recalling some of her words while she was teaching him how to do this.

“You have to be very careful when you try to see in reality. The only thing that changes is your view. Your spirit stills floats aimlessly around here when you do this. No hearing, no smell and no touch pass through from one world to another. But the other senses are useless when it comes to avoiding shadows. For their soundless movements usually wait until a soul shifts his view in order to pound. They are cunning beasts, not mindless drones, they know when and where to strike so as to minimize the work they have to do in order to devour such one as you. But fear not. For I have something like a six sense when it comes to those insatiable beasts. And while your eyes are focused in the real world I shall watch over your spirit in the ghost one.”

Then why had she told him? Why was so persistent in counting the million ways that he could perish if she could simply warn him about their presence? Hadn’t she also repeatedly said that she was, and will always be, besides him? Would there be a time that he would be alone or did she simply wished to scare him out of his mind so he could more easily accept her words?

A small seed of doubt was slowly flowering inside him. He knew that. But he also doubted. He kept asking himself if this seed would be his salvation or his death.

When he reopened his eyes his vision was flooded with the everyday life of the city.

He could almost hear the buzz and heartbeat of the crowd. People were rushing towards their jobs, mothers were hurrying along with their hands full of shopping bags, nicely dressed businessmen were mingling with the oiled outfitted workers and life went on. Only a few rays of the sun penetrated the thick fog of the city. Yet they seem to all point towards the towering face of a huge white building. The white marble absorbed and reflected the sun’s light magnifying it to an almost hurting degree. Across the unblemished surface only four letters, golden letters, tinged with a little red, were visible in the beginning.

D.A.W.N.

His vision here was a little blurred. Even though he was looking at the real world, it was like looking it through a smoky glass. Yet the flamboyant entrance, the bright colors that reflected the light and the contrast of them regarding the other parts of the city, were vivid enough to be clearly seen. Beneath them, smaller letter read:

‘Donations Around the World’s Nations’.

The irony to be shot by a worker at a charity organization shocked him.

He had seen this entrance only a few times in his life. He usually went straight to the back space that the building had. There was no white paint there, neither other fancy stuff. There were no gilded letters and life like color. It was just a dumpster of a place, a usual warehouse, where workers silently loaded trucks. Shedding sweat in order to get the precious bills that didn’t quite covered the needs of everyday life. There he was accustomed. There it was a place that he felt at home. Here was only an illusion, trying to confuse the people that everything was fine, that such a magnificent organization could surely be a pillar against the crumbling of the world.

He slowly entered the building. While he was conscious that he had to go at least some floors up in order to start finding answers, he was also aware that he should now start searching for a victim. At he thought about this word he felt a weight on his chest. His early intentions were to find a pc or something in the Human Resource Department in order to find who his assailant was. She had told him that most probably he would have to inhabit another body in order to do so, but he loathed such an action. It irritated him that she used words to make actions seem kinder…

“So this is how I possess someone?”

“Joshua, don’t be so harsh, you do not possess, you merely inhabit his body for a time…”

Bitterness engulfed him as he realized that slowly he was coming to her reasoning and his eyes continued to dart left and right searching for a suitable person. He would tell himself that he just wanted to be sure that such a person existed here, but inside him he knew that his next step was already decided…

For not all persons could be possessed. He needed a person with an active soul. A soul that had kept his body open for the ghost world. A human that still imagined, that still had hopes and fears. That wasn’t lost in everyday routine but still dreamt of his future. Smudged faces passed him by, faces with no features whatsoever. Those were unsuitable hosts. Those were lost ones. He was searching for one that he could clearly see his face, his eyes, his emotions. Such a person would do. Well, would do according to her, because he still hasn’t tried it not even once. He was too self-conscious to rob a person of his body just for training. He mussed to himself that if he saw his soul when he was alive, he would certainly resemble a lump of coal and nothing more. In the pressure of modern life, there was no space, no time, for dreamers.

He was slowly becoming desperate. He still hasn’t seen not even one suitable body and was now reaching the top floors. Here management resided. A fortress created to keep out scum like him. He was frustrated.

“I mean, come on, if we cannot find a hopeful person in a charity organization we have certainly lost something…” he said to no one in particular.

And then she saw her. A slender, beautiful, middle aged woman. She could be in her upper forties but still seem to hold herself fine. Elegantly dressed she marched by, sure of herself, chin held high, towards her destination, an executive’s office. He followed her and loomed beside her face. Watching as her mesmerizing, slender fingers start typing something out in the pc on her office. He couldn’t distinguish the letters on the screen, but he followed her movements on the keyboard, long enough to see her entering meaningless phrases. That was what he was waiting for. Almost immediately he reached inside her.

He didn’t had enough time to prepare. He didn’t want to have enough time, so as not to doubt if what he was doing was right or wrong. He kept telling himself that it was the only way, that no harm would come, that only for an instant she would black out and her life would resume peacefully. That this action was something small that wouldn’t actually matter in the long run.

If only he knew…

He gave all his might, trying to push inside the body that laid undefendable in front of him. It was like rushing face first towards a brick wall. When he clashed, he felt his thoughts melt away, strings of thoughts flying away from a huge woolen ball. He knew this was the most important point. He closed his eyes and focused. Focused on his memories, his self, his image. He felt her mind mingling with his, a fusion of souls, yet he struggled to separate himself. And little by little he felt her soul being pushed away…

Moments later he was staring at his hands, female hands. A nudge on his mind was battering, like a ram, his soul, screaming to be released. The body didn’t felt to have any weight at all. He was secretly hoping, that once inside a body, he could feel alive again. This was not the case. It felt more like driving a car. He knew how to shift the arms and legs and the rest of the muscles, but he didn’t felt them. Abandoning all hope even for a slight and temporal release from his state of being, he pushed away her soul even deeper and started to work towards his goal.

When he tried to enter the personnel files he was immediately prompted for a string of passwords. He smiled bitterly; the precautions that the voice in his head had warned about seemed to be right… again.

Prepared, he typed the command words he had observe the woman type before, soon he was seeing the list of all employees. He remembered that a photograph was required to get a job here, and now he blessed the company for this policy. But as he skipped through the portfolios of the workers his hopes started to fade. She has given him a slight description of the man that attacked him, but there were decades of people that could have matched it. And here, in the physical world her voice was almost lost. He couldn’t hear her answering his questions about if he recognized any of the photos. Maybe that is for the best, he thought, at least she keeps an eye on my soul. While despair was sipping in, he typed his name, maybe because of a whim or maybe because of fate. Weirdly, the company still had a file on him. A detailed file listing many obsolete things like his previous jobs, description, photo, marital life and…

All hell broke loose.

His eyes stayed frozen on the rest of his file.

Name: Joshua Lindam

Occupation: Civilian, Unemployed

Born: 22 August 1979

Age: 29

Status: DECEASED

Notes:

-Target put to rest under contract No 5431/A

-Assassination took place at 18:34 17 May 2008, contract completer was Anthony D. Rund. (Additional info search for A.D.R in employer’s database)

-Contracts No 5431/A-5431/F as all contracts accepted for the Chapel of St. Christopher, Paris remain classified

-Framed successfully

-Contact payment received successfully

-Contact destruction Status: pending till completion of the rest of the clauses

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